So, this is my blog, a word I wasn’t even familiar with less then a year ago, in fact I thought it was a strange and lonely concept,but, here I am here now feeling fulfilled by letting the world into my head. I am a Mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter, and more importantly a women whom is on a voyage of change and curiosities. I hope with this new outlet I’m able to dilute the fog that clouds up my brain, by that I mean as I sit at home giving my newborn all the tlc he deserves I tend to let my thoughts overtake my actions, I have become a fearful person since I took on motherhood almost 7 years ago. I enjoy my children more than life itself and wouldn’t change this part of my life for anything, it just has really opened my eyes to humanity and the fragility that life really is, I think for some that would create a sense of living life to the fullest and for others (like myself) it keeps me from venturing out and exploring different worlds with my family. No, I’m not a recluse and you won’t find me curled up in the corner of my room (that was a few years ago). Instead you will find me smiling, trying to look my best, being the sweetest mom and loving wife I can be, I try to be nice and open minded but really I can be so judgemental to others which says a lot about how I view myself. I suppose this may be my current therapy, a way of change, a purge of sorts, maybe not, maybe just another self indulgent drug. I hope not, and this is where you’ll find my daily dilemma’s I want to be positive but will shoot my self down in a second, I guess that’s just me, Smiling Mad.
I love it. You have a nice style of writing. I have such a terrible time writing what I’m thinking. Alright…what’s next? How do we make it work for both of us?
I think you are doing an amazing job of parenting. I wish that I had done as well by you and your sisters. Would I if I had been able to stay home with you? I doubt it. You are doing the most important work there is and I know how difficult it can be. I love you and want you to be as proud of yourself as I am of you.
P. S. The kids are going to be fine!
The way you deascribe your feelings of smiling mad kindof reminds me of my mom. I am trying to understand why she smiles when she gets mad. She will grin as if she is enjoying being mad. I think maybe she’s doing it to show a fisad (sp.?) of happiness but really inside she is sad. Any comments or answers are welcome.
GaryRollings707@yahoo.com
Hey Gary,
. Margo
Sometimes I think that as a mom we’re suppose to know most things and we create the calm that may surround the family. “If mom’s happy then the families happy,” is a quote that I’ve heard that rings true, even in times of anger frustration and sheer fear us mom’s like our kids to know that we still love you no matter what and hopefully our smiles will convey that. Also, a smile can be a cover, as I’m sure you have noticed with your own mom it’s her eyes that can tell the truth. With the eye you can see all emotions if you look hard enough, as a human I don’t think you can hide that. Good luck with your mom, and remember that each day she is doing the best job she can do, even if it’s not enough for you.
btw, thanx for reading my blog, your comment has kicked me in the ass to open it back up and rediscover it,
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